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Not My Grandbaby!!!!

July 1, 2010

Many mothers today are struggling with when they should go back to work. Most of these young women love their jobs. They spent years in college and the work place to get where they are. This is a tough decision for most moms, one that she and her husband must come to a decision together about.

Then comes the tough part…telling the grandmas. Many of us grandmas were stay-at-home moms. Even if we did work, it was usually once the child got older or we just had no other choice. So when many grandmas hear that mom is going to put their grandbaby somewhere for hours upon hours every week, we shudder.

We are moms that have been getting our way most of the time and this may not be at all what we planned for our grandchild. So in we step. Let us help pay the bills – how does mom tell us she wants to go back to work? Let me watch the baby? How do you tell grandma that you think that it would be better for everyone if  the baby was in daycare?

We as grandmothers have to try to remember that even though these people don’t just look like adults, they are and just like we made decisions for our children, it is their turn to make them for their children…even if they are dumb decisions in our mind.

All we can do is offer to help and then sit back and wait for them to call.

Has anyone had any experience with any of this that they would like to share?

One Comment leave one →
  1. Sue Burgett permalink
    July 6, 2010 1:13 am

    When my son and grandson moved back in with us due to a divorce, I took on the role of gramma-care. I felt such responsibility for this little guy. I was much like a mom to him. I was capable of doing the right things and my son was willing to let me. This was not helping him to become a good father. A very wise friend of mine gave me some advice.

    “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. God has given the responsibility of raising that kiddo to his parents. You are not responsible to raise him, just love him unconditionally. Don’t carry the guilt.”

    For a type A, perfectionist person, those words set me free to be the grandma and not the parent. Even though we might be able to provide all the “right things” for our grandchildren, perhaps it is not best to do it. It is more fun to bless them when it is not expected. We have a completely different role in their lives than their parents and it is a grand experience.

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